Today I spent amy entire work day listening to My Epic's records I Am Undone and Behold. Just those two, and really only 4 songs off I Am Undone. The way the lyrics to 90% of their songs touch my heart is still mind-blowing to me. I've listened to the song Communion a kazillion times and yet I still struggle to hold back the tears. When the song Zion played I caught myself just staring off into the distant corner of my cubicle with a longing so deep in my heart that taking another breath didn't seem quite feasible. The whole day of this music reminded me how infinitely blessed I am to know God as I do, and to know His love is only going to get more infinitely, inexpressibly more wonderful and overtaking. One of the best parts for me is knowing that He is unwavering, unlike humans. His love is not one day just going to disappear, or lessen until VW clubs are the sparkle in His eye, or anything seemingly crazy as that.
After work was over I jumped in my car and put on Thrice's record Major/Minor and the song Promises came on. (I'm a HUGE Thrice fan, and I love this song so if you're also a Thrice fan, don't take offense… just stay with me for a minute). After the lovely day of not being bothered by the stigma of being single on Valentine's Day I was derailed by that flood of bitterness I have been working to remove from my being.
The lyrics:
We promise pretty things
And we pledge with diamond rings
We profess undying love
But does that word hold any weight
When we reserve the right to break
Any vow that draws our blood
Our word is so faint and feeble
Broken by the slightest breeze or breath
Our hearts are they're so deceitful
Sick and filled with lies
That lead to death
We are cowards and thieves
Will we never turn to grieve
The damage done
Never see never quake with rage
At what we have become?
What we have become
Yeah we get down on one knee
O, we play at chivalry
But we do not count the cost
We say "On Me you can depend"
And "I will be there 'till the end"
Though we will not bear the cross
Ahh, bitterness reared her ugly little head for about 5 minutes but then the song ended and in that brief silence before the amazing song Blinded started I thought again of the stark difference of the love of man and the Love of God. Again I was reminded at how seriously blessed I am to know this. No matter how amazing your significant other is, they will still let you down in one way or another. It may not be something "big" like infidelity or abuse, divorce, or neglect but mistakes will be made, feelings may be hurt, patience tested, and buttons pushed. But God, His love created love. Our definition of love pales in comparison to the truth of what love is, which I think will only be fully revealed when we are face to face with It. And this, this is where my heart will rest. Not in man, no matter who he is, no matter if he truly is a man after God's heart who seeks to emulate Christ in his every interaction, who treats his wife as Christ does the church. Even if he is truly everything a woman so madly in love with Jesus Christ would want in a man. My heart will rest in Christ alone and in His love will I love.
The lyrics:
You loved me first and fully when nothing lovely existed
And gifted grace til my heart could awaken, embrace, and return it
All I see now every goodness, each beauty and blessing
Are but tremor and wake and stir me further to love and to longing
Only for You, only for You
Does my soul wait
Do my bones ache
I'll not be satisfied
Till my hopes and my eyes
Both alight on that view
There leave longing behind
I'll discard my desire
When I'm resting in You
---My Epic "Zion"
In His Love,
~Jennanana
No comments:
Post a Comment