2015- God Is the God of Our Yesterdays…

My "year in review" is a little late… but then I still haven't finished Christmas, yet so why stop there!

Man, 2015. A year of firsts. And I hope it to be merely my first year of firsts. This year has brought so much joy, turmoil, success, failure, gratitude, pain, heartache, and beauty. It is a year that will always be remembered and treasured as the beginning installment of a long-promised gift from the Lover of my soul. A year that celebrates the resurrection of self-strangled desires, the awakening of a part of me that was killed in betrayal. It was the beginning of a challenging, and confusing, yet truly, and undeservingly, rewarding journey into community. Yes- all this fancy talk about friendships… To those blessed enough to have always had community around them, who find it easy to make friends and let people in, you may not understand the significance and impact this has had on me. You may not be able to understand why it is such a big deal. But it is a big deal…

2015 was the first year I was an aunt! My sweet and beautiful niece was born on June 4, 2015 and instantly stole my heart.

You know how you always hear parents say how they loved their baby the first moment that they saw her? I always thought, "yeah, of course it's your baby.." but to experience it, even as an aunt, and to see that baby that you've loved for 9 months without seeing, it's a miracle moment. A moment when you know, without a shadow of a doubt, that you will love this little human for the rest of her life.

I couldn't help but think of God's love for us and the amazing desire and capacity for love that He gave us to help showcase who He is. The day will forever be one of the most memorable days in my life and I praise God He has blessed me with such an amazing family to have spent it with and to spend this little love bug's life with.

2015 marked the first (of, hopefully, many) mission trip! I had the most amazing opportunity to partner with Calvary Chapel Chattanooga to go to LA to work with the Cru team out there. After obeying God and signing up for this trip, dragging my feet all the way, I experienced God move in ways I had not yet seen.

It seems that His plan of ministry was far bigger than a week in LA, loving on seemingly forgotten about high school students. I still don't know who was ministered to more, ok- that's a lie, I'm quite certain it was me. The students out there were so amazing to hang with, the thirst for substance, meaning and Truth was nearly tangible when talking to a few of the girls I conversed with. A large number of students (186- if my memory serves me correctly) that we spoke to either one on one, or through rallies, had indicated decisions to follow Christ and many more requested more info on Cru.

It was amazing to see the openness of the students and the schools. This trip also served as the catalyst of a huge change in my life. God was no longer allowing me to be complacent in my solitude. Every morning before we went to the school's to work with the students our team, along with the Cru team, spent time together in the Word, in prayer, and getting to know one another. And after seeing the way these amazing people loved on each other I was a complete mess, knowing my fear and my past hurts were keeping me from experiencing something that looked and seemed so foreign and yet so godly. I heard God say that it was ok to let me guard down a little here. And I don't think anyone who was there truly knew what that moment meant to me when I expressed how much of an outsider I felt and how I truly longed for that community I was witnessing in front of me. And grace poured out of that moment. I was truly moved and inspired and terrified at that moment, but God's goodness poured forth, as it always has and will always do.

From that moment I have been overwhelmed with incredible friendships. Friendships that not only build up the people in them but ones that glorify God. Even thinking of it now, I am speechless (good thing I'm typing har har har) at the type of people I call my close friends. People I can talk about God, and theology and church things with. Friends I can joke ridiculously with and still know we could switch to a conversation of great spiritual depths and take each other completely seriously. Friends who allow you to inconvenience them in times of need, and even more mind blowing- friends who are there helping even if you don't ask for help because you know you'll inconvenience them. Friends who help you move. Friends who let you cry on their shoulders night after night when your sister moves away. Who check in on you and your leaky apartment during a crazy rainy night.

Friends who listen to your Maine stories, e-n-d-l-e-s-s-l-y, and friends who can relate because they miss the northeast too.
Friends who are friends in word and deed who take action when needed. Who also tell you when you're being ridiculous about something or that there is a certain area in your life that needs some serious attention. I don't know how I have been so blessed. It's completely undeserved and I pray I'm half the friend to them that they are to me.

Mel, Jacob, Anna, Julia, Paul, and Abby- You guys have changed my life and I'm super excited to go into 2016 with such truly awe-inspiring people.

Other 2015 firsts- zip lining, TN camping, singles retreating (hahaha), corn hole, body piercing, COLLEGE DEGREE

, joined my first small group, taught first Bible lesson (not at the small group haha), timing belt death, uhh, I guess that's all I can think of. Overall, it's been an amazing year full of so many hard lessons and even more incredible blessings.

2016- 2nd year of firsts- You have big shoes to fill. You're off to a good start though with caving, that was SO MUCH FUN! Seriously psyched for what's to come!

With all that, I wish to leave you with an amazing piece from Oswald Chambers that spoke volumes to my heart:

Security from Yesterday. “…God requires an account of what is past” (Ecclesiastes 3:15). At the end of the year we turn with eagerness to all that God has for the future, and yet anxiety is apt to arise when we remember our yesterdays. Our present enjoyment of God’s grace tends to be lessened by the memory of yesterday’s sins and blunders. But God is the God of our yesterdays, and He allows the memory of them to turn the past into a ministry of spiritual growth for our future. God reminds us of the past to protect us from a very shallow security in the present.

Security for Tomorrow. “…the Lord will go before you….” This is a gracious revelation— that God will send His forces out where we have failed to do so. He will keep watch so that we will not be tripped up again by the same failures, as would undoubtedly happen if He were not our “rear guard.” And God’s hand reaches back to the past, settling all the claims against our conscience.

Security for Today. “You shall not go out with haste….” As we go forth into the coming year, let it not be in the haste of impetuous, forgetful delight, nor with the quickness of impulsive thoughtlessness. But let us go out with the patient power of knowing that the God of Israel will go before us. Our yesterdays hold broken and irreversible things for us. It is true that we have lost opportunities that will never return, but God can transform this destructive anxiety into a constructive thoughtfulness for the future. Let the past rest, but let it rest in the sweet embrace of Christ.

Leave the broken, irreversible past in His hands, and step out into the invincible future with Him.


Bring it on, 2016. I'm ready!!
In Him who reigns!
~Jennanana