Everything Is About to Change...

Everything's about to change...
Holy cow! I just keep realizing this same thing over and over again. October second is coming super fast and everything is about to change! Those who know me know I don't do well with change, and yet I'm doing this 100% willingly. I started freaking out last weekend when I realized we are a week further through August than what my silly brain actually thought. I guess I have the right to freak out after all, EVERYTHING'S ABOUT TO CHANGE! Even though I'm freaking out some I really have a certain peace about the move in my heart and in my mind and I really hope that doesn't deteriorate as it gets closer to my move date but I'm really grateful for this peace. I know it comes from the complete belief and reliance I have that this is God's plan, not mine. I mean, when have MY plans EVERRRRR worked out? Ummm, trick question, they haven't. I can plan to do a load of laundry tonight and then halfway through the washing machine breaks, trapping my laundry in it because it's a front-load washing machine that won't drain (yes, this happened tonight ugh...). That's what happens when I plan something, so it's kind of a big deal that things with this move have fallen so well into place. So what am I freaking out about? Time, money, and people I guess. Time and people kind of go hand in hand too. Money, well, that's always going to be a fun one! I have to fix my washing machine before moving because I'm the only person in the world whose lease says the renter pays for all appliance maintenance, my car has to go into the shop for electrical issues, and we grease monkeys know that means big $$$, my glasses broke last week and are being held together by super glue and duct tape (yes! duct tape!!!) until I can get in to see my eye doc, and get some new glasses.. Not to mention the cost of recent, and unplanned, doc visits and lab work. Wooooaaaa! What's cool is, as overwhelming as it feels to look at all that on paper I'm really not freaking out as much as I normally would. I really believe that God is, will, and will continue to provide for me. Jehovah Jireh- God My Provider. But with this provision comes responsibility which means no frivolous spending. My frivolous and your frivolous are probably very, VERY, different, basically there will be little to no eating out, coffees, movies, ice cream, and the like which sucks ecause these are the things one would like to do with people when they are about to move halfway across the country... I even had to cancel on going to a music festival in New York that I REALLLLLLY did not want to cancel. Usually this would upset me a lot but I'm just so psyched to see what God has planned for me in this move and in Chattanooga. I'm psyched to be at a place where my heart is so abandoned to God that all I can dream about is making up for the time I wasted being fickle and bitter and unresponsive to Christ's constant reminder that I didn't have to carry my broken heart and bitterness I could have let it go long ago, but I didn't because... well, I don't know why. How lame is it that I carried unnecessary ick for so many years between the divorce and the break up with John? The answer is TOATS lame... And now for your listening pleasure...

I've changed my ways and cleared my mind.
Gaining some distance on what I've left behind.
I know my place, and I won't be deceived.
I will take back the time that was stolen from me.
I refuse to belong to a world
That believes there is nothing more than this.
This is not who I am.
This is not for me.



Blessings,
~Jennanana