Oh, My God....

"Liars and fools, sons and failures, thieves will always say..
Lost and found, ailing wanderers, healers always say..
Whores and angels, men with problems, leavers always say..
Broken hearted, separated, orphans always say..
War creators, racial haters, preachers always say..
Distant fathers, fallen warriors, givers always say..
Pilgrim saints, lonely widows, users always say..
Fearful mothers, watchful doubters, Saviors always say..

Sometimes I can not forgive
and these days mercy cuts so deep,
If the world was how it should be, maybe I could get some sleep.
While I lay, I'd dream we're better, scales were gone and faces lighter,
When we wake we hate our brother, we still move to hurt each other,
Sometimes I can close my eyes and all the fear the keeps me silent,
Falls below my heavy breathing, what makes me so badly bent?
We all have a chance to murder, we all have the need for wonder.
We still want to be reminded that the pain is worth the plunder.

Sometimes when I lose my grip, I wonder what to make of heaven,
All the times I thought to reach up, all the times I had to give up.
Babies underneath their beds, in hospitals that cannot treat them.
All the wounds that money causes, all the comforts of cathedrals,
All the cries of thirsty children, this is our inheritance,
All the rage of watching mothers, this is our greatest offense
Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God."
-Jars Of Clay "Oh My God"


I don't feel much like myself these days. I feel weighed down by unbearable grief that I didn't think I could ever feel again. It's times like these you wish you were numb and heartless. It's times like these you start to doubt who you are and if you really can love too much or be too nice. What does that even mean? Was Jesus "too nice" when He spread His arms and took on the sin of all mankind? Something He never knew or felt and He took on ALL existing, past, present, future sins of the world. Was that "too nice"? I'm pretty sure I have done nothing even remotely like this but I do strive to be like Him who gave His life as propitiation for us. If I try to be like Jesus but know I can never be that good than how can I be "too nice"?
Anyway it's Easter. I love Easter but this year it was so just bland to me. That may sound so bad coming from someone totally in love with Jesus but I mean that celebration wise it was just... blah. I'm not blaming anyone but myself on that. I'm not exactly in celebration mode, which totally sucks because I should be. What I'm going through is so stupid and small compared to the amazing resurrection of Jesus proving that He was who He said He was. In order to validate EVERY word from His mouth He had to be resurrected. Is He just died without being resurrected He couldn't have been sinless. The Bible clearly states "the wages of sin are death". If you haven't sin you can't really die. Jesus didn't sin therefor death couldn't hold Him down. If it had HE couldn't have been the Messiah, He couldn't have been God, He was resurrected because death had NOTHING on Him.
Think about it.
Happy Easter
~Jenna