I Open My Eyes To the Breathtaking Splendor Of Brand New Skies...

So today started as the hardest day in the past 3 years of my existence. I stayed in bed willing my body to sleep until noon, just because I didn't want to go through another day. I didn't want to think about John and I didn't want to know that I had nothing to do, that another weekend was passing that I wasn't hanging with my best friend when it was all he and I used to really hang out on. And summer makes it even harder because I have so many good memories of us at Pine Point with Benny... It's so hard to let go of something you thought was so good. Anyway, I finally dragged myself out of bed and found mom in the living room and just started balling again. She tried to find the words to help but there just wasn't any. I just needed to cry. It's hard to learn someone you thought you knew so well was someone else, especially when you let that someone into your heart so deeply after your heart was torn apart by another man who was supposed to be someone else. Having nothing to do I could have sat there all day and cried, easily. But I took a shower and dressed put on some makeup to cover the crazy swollen eyes and packed a bag of stuff and took off. I didn't know where I was going but I did know at some point today I was going to end up at a beach somewhere.
I drove to Georgetown. Don't know why, it just seemed like a good idea. Saw the prettiest spot. It was a cove with an island right in the middle of the opening to the wide open sea. There was a little fog on the water and from where I was looking there was a sea-rose bush on a little hill overlooking the cove... it was breath-taking. I took a picture of it but it doesn't do it justice. So I drove around Georgetown looking for a pier that I had been to once, long ago, but didn't find it so I decided to scoot over to Popham again.
It was like 4 when I got there and there wasn't many people but i trekked to an open spot on the beach, away from everyone, and laid down on my sweatshirt and other random articles of clothing as I did not bring a blanket and slept for like an hour. Then I decided to read for a little bit. I look up like 30 minutes later look to my left and right and see absolutely NO ONE on the beach... Weird. So I took the opportunity and managed to put my running clothes on under my other clothes (thank goodness for skirts!) and went for a run on the beach. I ran a good two miles and there was no one there. It was so amazing. There was a storm rolling in at the same time and the thunder was starting while the sky was darkening and moving fast. It was such an amazing feeling to be the only one there. So I was singing to the music playing on my zune, We Came As Romans, and it was really nice. Every runners dream right? ;-)
Well, i got back to my stuff and decided to start packing up to leave so I got to my car just as the lightening show started. So i threw my stuff in the car and went back out to watch from the rocks when something amazing happened. There was a few flashes of lightening but this really mean looking cloud was moving really fast from the other side of the cove and as it moved the sky behind it was clear, then a little piece of a rainbow came into view. It brought to mind God's promise to Noah and made me think of God's promises to me. I've been thinking about them a lot recently because of what has been going on but seeing this really spoke to my troubled spirit. I heard God whisper to me today. "This storm will pass, and My promise will prevail, but know there are more storms ahead". I really felt this being spoken to my soul and it comforted me.
I know I'm still going to struggle with this and I do not like it at all but a little comfort goes a long ways in times like these. It's a humbling and invigorating thing when you hear God speak to you I think...

"I open up my eyes oh Lord, to see all the things You’ve done
I open up my heart oh God, to feel Your unfailing love
I open up my all to You, all my life for Your glory shown
I open up my soul to You alone, come make yourself at home
And I’ll give all I have left to give
Cause it’s everything I am, Lord
And this life I’ll spend it all for You
I’ll waste it all on You
I offer up my mind to You, I long for the truth You know
I offer up my feet to You, they’ll walk straight on the path You show
I offer up my time to You, so keep me and hold me stillhttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif
I offer up my hands to You, Lord use them to do Your will
Let Your Spirit take me over God,
Cause it’s all I’ll ever need, yeah You’re all I’ll ever need Lord
Receive this life an offering God
Cause I’ve spent it all on You, yeah I’ll spend it all on You God"
---Ascend The Hill "Spend It All"

Be Blessed,
~Jenna

PS... my next post may be emo... and that's ok!