3-0 to 3-1

This last year has been one of the hardest yet. The first half was filled with joy and camaraderie I didn't know I would ever get to partake in. The beautiful realization of the blessings that can be brought by community reiterated the heart of Jesus to my soul. The second half brought tragedy and heartache. The loss of my dad has been such a strange and painful road. Grief I haven't known since the divorce 10 years ago came to dwell with me, I'm unsure of how long he'll stay this time, he's at least moved out of my room to the backyard, but he's got a hammock so I think he'll be comfy and will stay a while. The second half of this year also brought the loss of many friendships, bringing out insecurities I thought I left at Oak Hill High School. It's strange how the things that made the first half of my 30th year of life so good, were a large part in what made the second half so hard. BUT GOD...

I say all this, not to dwell, or focus on the pain and uncertainty that surrounds my life but to denote the constant in my life. Even through the unexpected death of my dadio, the loss of a close friendship and subsequent friends, the change of other friendships due to distance, the loss of running, and all the other seemingly "bad" things that have happened there has been a thread of joy in my spirit...

BUT GOD...

Those two words. The best words in the world...

"But God remembered Noah..." Genesis 8:1
"But God has seen my hardship..." Genesis 31:42
"But God will redeem my life from the grave..." Psalm 49:15
"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalm 73:26
"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8
"But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise..." 1 Corinthians 1:27
"But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love that He had for us, made us alive with the Messiah even though we were dead in trespasses." Ephesians 2:4-5

This is me connecting.... Even through these last rough six months I have stood on my "but God," I have grasped to it like the life preserver it is. I suppose going through the tragedy of divorce at such a young age has its advantages in that I was able to witness the Lord's hand pull me from the ickiest mire and sustain me as I went through that hell (PLEASE NOTE: THIS IS NOT A PLUG FOR DIVORCE!!! I'm merely saying that if you allow the Lord to, He can use horrible things, like divorce, to give you life lessons). It makes it easier now, to know and trust His sustaining power, and also to trust that these things will ultimately lead to further maturing and intimacy with Him, and really, what is better than that?

This new year of life is already looking to be an interesting one, kicking it off in Maine to grieve the loss of my Jensui's dad, and being with my dad's family while we remember my dadio as the first year without him comes to a close. Then with the mission trip to Liberia, West Africa (Shameless plug... I'm still raising financial and prayer support for this trip if you want to be part of it!). I'm excited to see how God is going to use the degree I just graduated with, the church I'm getting more plugged in to, the friendships that have changed, my family that is growing stronger, and the (hopefully) temporary physical limitations, to make His name and glory known to Chattanooga and to the nations!

Deuces 3-0

~Jennanana