Integrity, Consistency, Holiness, and the Christian Heavy Music Scene...

This week I saw a picture posted by a hard core Christian band. A friend of mine was a bit shocked and, i dare say, offended by it and asked my thoughts on it… Thus was born this blog that has been a long time stewing in my brain. I want to preface it by saying yes, I do listen to these bands still and yes, I'm sure I will be at another concert at some point in the future. I also want to warn that this may offend some who are into this type of music and/or "scene" but I would ask that you pray about why this was offensive of stinky to you and know my point was not to offend anyone…
The hard core/metal/alternative Christian music "industry" has gotten an increasingly bad rep in my book. Over the last few years I have spend countless hours listening to great, solid, awesome music with some great, solid, Biblical and theological themes that have spoken into my life. On the flip side- I've spent countless hours at shows of these same bands and have witnessed them singing these songs, but behaving completely contradictory of their message, and of the life Christ commands His followers to lead. I'm not expecting perfection from them, but I am expecting integrity. Furthermore, and this is what gets people ticked off at me, we concert goers who are Christians and proclaim the same Gospel, are doing what at these shows? Cursing, moshing, flailing about, hitting people, kicking people. Yeah, maybe by accident but it doesn't count as an accident after you do it once, then continue to repeat the same offense, all.night.lomg. This is something I have struggled with heavily because I love going to the shows, but after getting hit, felt up, hit, hit, hit, kicked, knocked down, I seriously can't justify it anymore. Not for me, and not for them. As cliche as people want to make it, I often think "what would Jesus do?" Honestly, does anyone think Jesus is ok with this type of violence? If so, maybe they need to revisit their Bible. Even more off is the gender issue... called me a sexist if you must but dudes are generally bigger, stronger, and have less cares in the mosh pit than chicks. Oh, and these dudes? Yeah- their the ones outraged by Ray Rice beating the snot out of his woman… their the ones agreeing that there's never an appropriate time to hit a woman… they're the Christians in the mosh pit who's out of control, flailing arm just hit a girl in the middle of her face, knocking her glasses of her head and throwing her back into the wall… Am I seriously the only person who sees something wrong with this? And what does the band do? They encourage the out of control-ness, and why? Because it looks better to them? So they know people "get it" and are into it? Where is Christ in this? I'm NOT condemning people for going to these shows, I'm not condemning the bands, I'm merely indicting the inconsistencies.
We are commanded to live a consistent life of integrity. 1 John 2:5b-6 says "This is how we know we are in Him: The one who says he remains in Him should walk just as He walked." These bands who go in the name of Christ, are ABSOLUTELY held to a higher standard because they have a pedestal with which they speak the name of Christ. People always want to say we put too high of standards on them but that is what comes with the territory. The minute they decided to be Christians in a band was the minute they became influential to a mass audience (regardless of size). Their Facebook pages, twitter accounts, instagram, whatever, is included in this. If there is a loss of integrity on Facebook, people are going to see it. Christians who may not be strong in the convictions of the Bible, are able to genuinely justify shady behavior because the older, "wiser," Christian did it. This is the problem I have with Emery, a band that I credit as music that got me through my divorce, a band who's music I really, REALLY enjoy. Their desire to be edgy to appeal to non-believers is a dangerous and slippery slope. They curse, just to curse, and talk about things that controversial (some I do think should be talked about but they take it much too far) for the sake of appeal? The Bible is CLEAR about this stuff. One of the many places is Ephesians 5 where Paul is talking about suitable behavior of the Christian. He tells us what to do and what not to do: "Therefore, be imitators of God, as dearly loved children. And walk in love, as the Messiah also loved us and gave Himself for us, a sacrificial and fragrant offering to God. But sexual immorality and any impurity or greed should not even be heard of among you, as is proper for saints. Coarse and foolish talking or crude joking are not suitable, but rather giving thanks."
There's NO place for this stuff in the life of a Christian… if you notice, Paul DOES NOT say that this behavior is NOT right for world, because this is how the world thinks and acts. Unfortunately it's easy and "natural" for us to be that way. And some dare say that Christians who strive to uphold this level of integrity are somehow ostracizing the unbelievers. Yes, it may be intimidating for them to come into a place where cursing and foul jokes are not welcome, but the point isn't to lower our standards, the very standards Christ has given us but to love our brother when he comes in and uses such language. That love we show is a glimpse of Christ's love and once that heart is full of Christ's love the desire to be rid of language/talk that doesn't please Christ naturally follows that love.
The same for the moshing. I understand the intent behind it may not be malice, but Christ died for me, can I really not give up a ridiculous "dance" in order to show His love, through me, to my brother or sister? And for the ones moshing to "get out their anger," aren't we called to lay that before the feet of our Savior, rather than pound it into an unsuspecting brother or sister in the faith who only wanted to watch her favorite band play without fear of being beat up? Some may argue that there is a time and place for it but i disagree. And it's hard for me, most who know me know that I've been attending as many shows as possible of these types of bands for the last 8+ years. I haven't been to a show since August and I believe this is the longest stretch I've endured, and it's sad, and I thought it was going to be super hard to abstain from these shows but in my obedience to the Lord He has filled my heart and life with other things to do that build Him up and don't tear anything down. ANd it's been good, real good.
Again I'm not judging, I'm not condemning, I'm merely asking my brothers and sisters to think and pray on these things. Bands- is your everyday life living up to the words you proclaim in your music? Yes, I get that people may be hearing the Gospel but Christ didn't tell us to merely share the Gospel. His COMMAND was to "Go and make disciples." Disciples of whom? Him, Christ. That means teaching what He taught, living what He lived, being imitators of Him so those you are discipling would see a clearer picture of Christ and may live like Him and further the discipling. How you do ministry matters! Even for Jesus it mattered.

Brant Hansen wrote an amazing blog about this (the first quote is someone arguing against his point that how you do ministry matters) : “Just look at the fruit, though! This ministry may have milked people for millions, but you can’t argue with the fruit!”
But the fruit of the Spirit is not mass-appeal, nor institutional footprint. It’s not multi-campuses. It’s not community awareness or revenue growth. If it is, Starbucks is a spiritual giant. The fruit of the Spirit is another list, entirely: Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, meekness, and self-control.

Bands- I get that your appeal is bringing in kids that may never go to church or other places that may present them with the Gospel, and I love that! But is your lack of integrity, diluting that Gospel? Are you portraying that in Christ we can truly be freed from the bonds of sin. Not just the consequence of sin, but the bonds of sin here, and now. That a new life, holy and pleasing the Christ CAN be lived here on earth through the power of the blood that rescued us ALSO from the condemnation of that sin? Or are you doing what Paul EXPLICITLY warns agains in Romans 6 when he said, "What should we say then? Should we continue in sin so that grace may multiply? Absolutely not! How can we who died to sin still live in it?" Do we talk foolishly and coarsely to make Christ appealing to those who don't yet know Him? Paul says no. What say you?

Whew! Don't be too harsh on me. Everything said here is out of love and concern.
Blessings,
~Jennanana

Still Learning, After All These Years....

I just finished a good conversation with my brother that really made me want to write again, but my brain isn't working because I haven't slept since Sunday (it’s Tuesday afternoon) so I'm going to come back to this refreshed in a few hours...(a day goes by...) Or a day...
So, I needed a lot of sleep to be able to think apparently... Anyway, back to what I was saying.
Scott (bro) and I were talking about life and how people in our life sometimes chose to go down paths they know, have known, have specifically spoken the words "I know this is wrong" but still make the decision to pursue said wrong path all the while proclaiming to be a Christian. (I am not questioning whether the person is in fact a Christian… In fact, I know for certain this person is a Christian, who loves God deeply) I was talking about how I am learning, rather RElearning, that sin is sin. I may not be out getting drunk or stealing from unsuspecting characters but I’m just as guilty as those who do these things when I lie or don’t put God first, or treat someone badly. My sin of idolatry is just as bad as another’s sin of violence, and boy, is God reminding me of this every day. I think it’s when you start thinking your getting the hang of things when God likes to throw a curveball to remind you where your eyes and heart should be. I’ve heard it said that He will use any means available to re-center a straying heart, and I can truly attest to that with what He has brought me through in the last 5 years of my life. Makes me start to wonder how pig headed I really, truly am.

On a lighter note, I’m in Chattanooga again. I flew down Tuesday morning so I could attend the concert of a lifetime that included Oh, Sleeper, Emery, and best of all Hawboy (formerly As Cities Burn… and still with Cody Bonnette on vox). I got into Chatt around 1030am and got to hang with Scott some before taking my nap that lasted a god few hours. Then shopped at McKay’s <3, had dinner with the Logan’s then Scott and I went to the show. I have been to many, many concerts in my life but I’m not sure I have ever been quite so excited as I was when Stillglow was exiting the stage and Hawkboy was setting up… Not that I didn’t like Stillglow, because I very, VERY much did like them, but it was Cody Bonnette people! He got up there with his awkward mustache and Aaron his drummer and started playing 2Bit… And I was like a giddy little school girl... I can’t even tell you how ECSTATIC I was when they played Errand Rum and Pirate Blues but what made their set the best of the entire night was the crowd knew the songs and was SO into it! I’m so used to being in Maine where good music is so very not known and I expected it to be the same there! It was EPIC (no, I’m not using that word)… Then Oh, Sleeper came on and all chaos ensued! The mosh pit kinda took over and the guys in the band started body surfing so Scott and I made a quick escape towards the back of the audience. I value my health too much to be too involved in the mosh pit, especially when surrounded by men who were a bit larger than myself… Emery came on and we made our way back to the front. There was a pit for Emery too but we were able to be basically out of it since we stayed close to the side wall. Emery put on an amazing set! They started out with… yes, you guessed it, So Cold I Can See My Breath and went right into the amazing Cheval Glass. I was SO into it I was screaming along and was told I “scream well for a girl”… I’m still not sure if that was a compliment. A couple songs later they slowed things down with a small acoustic set playing Fractions, and my theme song (one of) Ponytail Parades, and a semi acoustic Never Got To See the West Coast and kicked things back up again and ended with… yes, you are a good guesser… Walls. But we of course called for an encore and they played… mhmm… Studying Politics! It was a very good show, especially since I didn’t get pummeled in the pit! I will add the videos and pics once I can upload from my camera when I am home… Gooood stuff!!
Today was a lot of fun! Brent took me to go have lunch with Liz and him at the zoo, and Liz gave us the grand tour. Then Brent and I headed over to a park to hit some baseballs and hang and afterwards we went to see a $1 movie at the cheap seats cinema down here. It was over with just enough time for us to get back to their house to watch the Sox vs the Phillies… sadly, we lost 1-2 but it was a very tight game, obviously. Tomorrow I’m hanging out with Brent again, we may go back to the park to play ball again before it gets too hot, and then I’m shipping out with Scott and Shanon to go home, where you can breathe outside! Quite an eventful week I must say… I sure am grateful to have such amazing siblings and siblings-in-law!
God Bless,
~Jenna

An Outrage!!!

UGH! So on Sunday I drove 2 hours to go see a band I really wanted to see. When were they ever going to be so close to Maine? That's exactly what I was thinking, and why I drove the distance on a work night to see them... Just an awesome band that goes by Capital Lights! So I bought the ticket on Saturday just to ensure I wouldn't pansy out, as I was going alone. And I totally didn't! I went and when I got there I got the saddest news! The band had an emergency and wasn't going to be able to play!!!!! THIS WAS AN OUTRAGE!;-) Sometimes I swear my life is that movie The Truman Show, you know the one where this dude doesn't know it but his life really IS a movie... When the girl at the door told me that they weren't playing I'm telling you I heard the faint sound of "Wah wah" as I lowered my head in sorrow... It was a very interesting night though! The people at The Revolution Show, which is who put the whole thing on, were so nice when they heard I drove 2 hours (by the end of the night people were saying I drove 3 hours lol) they gave me all kinds of free swag like a tee shirt, bumper sticker and even 2 free tix to the Attaboy show coming up May 29th... They even gave a shout out to me from stage... I was totally embarrassed when they made me wave lol... Aww, who am I kidding? You all know I love attention! :-). I did get to see one band called Kaelum Way, that I thought made the whole trip worth it... They opened with a wonderful instrumental song and played some of their original songs then some worship songs. I am a sucker for worship songs played at concerts... It says so much to me that some ultra talented musician (most of the time lol) feels that he/she should set aside the music they created and sing songs that someone else made up so everyone can worship God in the place. :-) They were awesome!
It was a really great feeling to go by myself to this show... It would have been awesome to go with someone else but it was freeing to find out that I can actually do that! "What's next?" You ask... Well SDS is in Jersey in a couple weeks and I wouldn't be caught dead not there! Did that make sense? Well, I am hoping Jensui can come or if not my mom or both, or somebody else cuz Jersey is a little farther than NH lol.

Well, I wanted to share with the 3 people that read this a really cool email I got... I signed up to receive daily emails from the Divorce Care organization. I'm on day 40 and this has been the most valuable so far... Please note, it is edited a little to keep it short! Contact me if you want the whole email!

"People in grief must learn to say good-bye to what they have lost. Saying good-bye is not a one-time experience, but there will come a day when final good-byes are said....

Mr. Wright continues, "It's when the good-byes are said that you can turn the corner and move ahead."

You may not want to say good-bye, but this is necessary at some point in your recovery process. Saying good-bye does not mean you are closing yourself off from the other person. You are saying good-bye to what you have lost, to the things of the past, and to a relationship that is over. You are experiencing closure to the grief, blame, anger, and emotions that are behind you. A new way of living is before you that may or may not include your former spouse.

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" (2 Corinthians 5:17).

Lord, a new way of living is before me. My life will be filled with new joys and experiences. Teach me to say good-bye to the old. Amen. "

I hope that helped someone either with a situation that's going on in their lives or understand my situation a little better!

Be Blessed,
~Jennanana

Still Love... Real Love... "Love" Love

I'm told love can help heal. And by heal I mean any kind of heal, physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. I've always believed this. It may not be a magical and flashy in-your-face kind of thing but I have always believed Love can heal. This whole thought comes from an article from Relevant Magazine that was emailed to me (thanks Shanon!) titled Being In "Love" Love.
I was instantly captured by this title and those of you that know me know why... For those of you who don't... It's pretty much just because I am a dork who says stuff like "like" that... Catch my drift? Anyway...
The article was about Love and how Love is defined. The author of this blog goes on to talk about how God is Love and how love is one of the very few things all humans need and desire. Therefore if God is Love and Love is needed isn't this need actually for God? WOA! So anyway everyone should check the article out. While I DO NOT agree with everything Relevant Magazine stands for I do think this article is one everyone should read...
Speaking about Relevant... I found it very interesting how there are like 3 categories in the "featured" menu on their web site "God", "Life", and "Progressive Culture"... what is up with that? I guess I don't understand how the first two can be separated, going back to the love theory... If God is life how can the two be separated? oi... and how is "movies books and films" considered "progressive" culture?
Anyway back to love...
I kind of find it weird that while suffering through the aftermath of a divorce that was not my choice, losing the only man I have ever loved (in a romantic way), and having everything I dreamed and worked for torn away from my death grip, I have become a crusader of Love. Once I had what I considered "everything" stripped away from me, I turned back to the only place that I could... I had burned all my bridges in my relationship with my husband and became a failure and another number to add to the heart wrenching divorce stats. All I did was turn around (not literally, but stay with me for a minute) and there was Love, with His arms wide open and His heart absolutely broken for mine. It was then that I realized the verse in Corinthians wasn't just some pretty wall hanging but words to live by. Absolutely live by. And this Love is what I want to be, not just what I want to show not just an action but a life. If we are created in the image of God, and God is Love, then shouldn't we also be Love? This is what I want....

We want love, love at the core
The cold of the flesh always seems to creep inside of my chest
And I need the pulse of You God
To fill these veins and touch my heart so I can start
Living again
We've seen the dark of the night
Son won't You come shine some light on our lives

We want love, love at the core
So much more then what we're living for
We want love, we want love
Love at the core

I'm numb to cries of this world
As I lye holding on
On You with all of me my everything
I need You to breathe into me
Son won't You come shine

Love, love at the core
So much more then what we're living for
We want love, we want love
Love at the core
So much more of this life
That we're reaching for
We want love

Sweeter than wine You are
You are
We've seen the dark of the night
Son won't You come shine some light on our lives

We want love, love at the core
So much more then what we're living for
We want love, we want love
Love at the core
So much more of this
Life that we're reaching for
We want love to bind us tonight
Leave behind your own disguise
So love can find you and I

Wow, I'm so glad it is Friday and I don't have to work for 2 whole days!!
One of my coworkers has been sick so we have had to cover for her this week and lucky me got to work late tonight b/c of it. The day wasn't too bad but tonight we had to call a code blue for a patient. For those of you who are medical code inept a code blue means that someone has gone into cardiopulmonary arrest (stopped breathing). And for those of you who know where I work knows it was for a child. Six months old. Though I don't have much contact with the patient in an emergency like that it's still very nerve wracking. Once the code is called we have a million people running to our office from the ICU, ER, NICU, and EMT's to transfer the patient to the ER. We had about 30 people in the office in a matter of minutes. This patient has a heart defect that an infant son of a friend of mine died of a few months back so I was very quite nervous. The only thing I could do to help was go in the other room and start praying. The little girl is still alive but the situation did not look good when I left work at 7:30 this evening. It's so hard at times to have this job. It takes a toll on my spirit to be constantly seeing sick and abused children.
On a less saddening note... Disciple came to Auburn, Maine this past Tuesday night and it was an AMAINEZING show!!! I got there early to be sure to get in. It was a free show so they could only allow 750 people in due to fire code enforcement. It was a very cold night but not as bad as it has been since and I am soooo thankful I only had to wait outside for 45 minutes! Anywho Vince, Katy, Shanon, Scott, Lizzie, John, Jessie, and Kyle all came.

We somehow managed to get close to the front of the stage for most of the 2 bands. Kronicles opened for Disciple and were amazing. I had seen them once before at Soul Fest and really dig them now! Then... DISCIPLE! The crowd's energy for this show was like the best I've ever seen in Maine! They played ALL of my favorite songs including Romance Me (my #1 fav). I ran into Chrispy and hung out with Sandy for a while. Right before the show started this man came up to Liz and I and said hello and I didn't recognize who he was until he introduced himself as Soren's dad. I almost started crying right there! For those of you who don't know Soren was a friend of ours who died in a motorcycle accident a few years ago. I hadn't seen his dad since the memorial for Soren but the whole family had been on my mind almost constantly for a very long time now and it was soooo good to see him.
On another happy note today I pre-ordered the new Seventh Day Slumber record called "Take Everything". It comes out in March and everyone should buy a copy!!!

Well I think that is enough rambling for tonight.
In Christ,
~Jennanana

It’s Monday, and what a Monday it was. Work was insane. Seriously, I think sometimes there is no way it could get any busier in that office, but it made the day scoot by quickly.
I had a super fun weekend. Bible study on Friday, Scott’s big solo show on Saturday, and church and the photo shoot (hehe) on Sunday.
Bible study was awesome, as usual. It’s so nice to get together with a bunch of women and talk about God. As much in love with Jesus as I am, I am having a little trouble with the study as a whole. It’s called “Falling In Love with Jesus” which is great and all but there are all these questions that are like “when did you ever feel this way” or “have you ever fallen in love” or “when did someone ever to something this romantic for you” all the while I’m trying to forget about Ryan. I understand the study is trying to show that Jesus’ love is so much sweeter than the love a man could ever give but it’s hard to not fall into self pity when most of the other women are like “oh, my husband did this”. Anyway, I’m learning to trust God now, with all of my heart. And even though it’s been a hard road to get here, I think I really do feel more loved than I even did with my ex-husband. BUT PLEASE understand that it is not because he didn’t love me enough, it’s only because he NOR ANY man on this earth could make me feel loved like Jesus. My heart breaks when I see people that do not know this love, and are looking for it in their spouse or boyfriend or what have you. People don’t understand that man was made for God. God is the only one who can truly validate someone. He is the only one who could make anyone feel the true peace that love is. Real love. It’s sad to think people are just going through mate after mate to try and get this love, and never stop to think, after the 8th guy (great guys, but just not for me) that this love can be fulfilled by some sinning loser who doesn’t even deserve to feel an ounce of happiness in this fallen world. That’s what we are, we are losers. We are sinners, and we deserve nothing. But yet God opens his arms and beckons us close where he whispers the words in our ears “I love you, I want you, come follow me and be with me”. It’s only then do we know real love, and nothing on this earth can match it.

WHEW! Now that I got that out… Scott’s show was AMAZING! Seriously I didn’t even think I would like it as much as I did but it was awesome. The crowd was awesome! The crème puffs were terrific… seriously, they were gooood. I think he is going to be doing some big stuff pretty soon. Which is super and everything but I sure am going to miss him and Shanon. I love just hanging at there house and invading their special time together, and beating Scott at Call Of Duty. Good times.
Well, got to go to Dadio’s. Hopefully I will write more about church and the amazing photo shoot!!
Go read Romans…the book in the Bible, it’s beautiful!
Blessings,
~Jennanana