Integrity, Consistency, Holiness, and the Christian Heavy Music Scene...

This week I saw a picture posted by a hard core Christian band. A friend of mine was a bit shocked and, i dare say, offended by it and asked my thoughts on it… Thus was born this blog that has been a long time stewing in my brain. I want to preface it by saying yes, I do listen to these bands still and yes, I'm sure I will be at another concert at some point in the future. I also want to warn that this may offend some who are into this type of music and/or "scene" but I would ask that you pray about why this was offensive of stinky to you and know my point was not to offend anyone…
The hard core/metal/alternative Christian music "industry" has gotten an increasingly bad rep in my book. Over the last few years I have spend countless hours listening to great, solid, awesome music with some great, solid, Biblical and theological themes that have spoken into my life. On the flip side- I've spent countless hours at shows of these same bands and have witnessed them singing these songs, but behaving completely contradictory of their message, and of the life Christ commands His followers to lead. I'm not expecting perfection from them, but I am expecting integrity. Furthermore, and this is what gets people ticked off at me, we concert goers who are Christians and proclaim the same Gospel, are doing what at these shows? Cursing, moshing, flailing about, hitting people, kicking people. Yeah, maybe by accident but it doesn't count as an accident after you do it once, then continue to repeat the same offense, all.night.lomg. This is something I have struggled with heavily because I love going to the shows, but after getting hit, felt up, hit, hit, hit, kicked, knocked down, I seriously can't justify it anymore. Not for me, and not for them. As cliche as people want to make it, I often think "what would Jesus do?" Honestly, does anyone think Jesus is ok with this type of violence? If so, maybe they need to revisit their Bible. Even more off is the gender issue... called me a sexist if you must but dudes are generally bigger, stronger, and have less cares in the mosh pit than chicks. Oh, and these dudes? Yeah- their the ones outraged by Ray Rice beating the snot out of his woman… their the ones agreeing that there's never an appropriate time to hit a woman… they're the Christians in the mosh pit who's out of control, flailing arm just hit a girl in the middle of her face, knocking her glasses of her head and throwing her back into the wall… Am I seriously the only person who sees something wrong with this? And what does the band do? They encourage the out of control-ness, and why? Because it looks better to them? So they know people "get it" and are into it? Where is Christ in this? I'm NOT condemning people for going to these shows, I'm not condemning the bands, I'm merely indicting the inconsistencies.
We are commanded to live a consistent life of integrity. 1 John 2:5b-6 says "This is how we know we are in Him: The one who says he remains in Him should walk just as He walked." These bands who go in the name of Christ, are ABSOLUTELY held to a higher standard because they have a pedestal with which they speak the name of Christ. People always want to say we put too high of standards on them but that is what comes with the territory. The minute they decided to be Christians in a band was the minute they became influential to a mass audience (regardless of size). Their Facebook pages, twitter accounts, instagram, whatever, is included in this. If there is a loss of integrity on Facebook, people are going to see it. Christians who may not be strong in the convictions of the Bible, are able to genuinely justify shady behavior because the older, "wiser," Christian did it. This is the problem I have with Emery, a band that I credit as music that got me through my divorce, a band who's music I really, REALLY enjoy. Their desire to be edgy to appeal to non-believers is a dangerous and slippery slope. They curse, just to curse, and talk about things that controversial (some I do think should be talked about but they take it much too far) for the sake of appeal? The Bible is CLEAR about this stuff. One of the many places is Ephesians 5 where Paul is talking about suitable behavior of the Christian. He tells us what to do and what not to do: "Therefore, be imitators of God, as dearly loved children. And walk in love, as the Messiah also loved us and gave Himself for us, a sacrificial and fragrant offering to God. But sexual immorality and any impurity or greed should not even be heard of among you, as is proper for saints. Coarse and foolish talking or crude joking are not suitable, but rather giving thanks."
There's NO place for this stuff in the life of a Christian… if you notice, Paul DOES NOT say that this behavior is NOT right for world, because this is how the world thinks and acts. Unfortunately it's easy and "natural" for us to be that way. And some dare say that Christians who strive to uphold this level of integrity are somehow ostracizing the unbelievers. Yes, it may be intimidating for them to come into a place where cursing and foul jokes are not welcome, but the point isn't to lower our standards, the very standards Christ has given us but to love our brother when he comes in and uses such language. That love we show is a glimpse of Christ's love and once that heart is full of Christ's love the desire to be rid of language/talk that doesn't please Christ naturally follows that love.
The same for the moshing. I understand the intent behind it may not be malice, but Christ died for me, can I really not give up a ridiculous "dance" in order to show His love, through me, to my brother or sister? And for the ones moshing to "get out their anger," aren't we called to lay that before the feet of our Savior, rather than pound it into an unsuspecting brother or sister in the faith who only wanted to watch her favorite band play without fear of being beat up? Some may argue that there is a time and place for it but i disagree. And it's hard for me, most who know me know that I've been attending as many shows as possible of these types of bands for the last 8+ years. I haven't been to a show since August and I believe this is the longest stretch I've endured, and it's sad, and I thought it was going to be super hard to abstain from these shows but in my obedience to the Lord He has filled my heart and life with other things to do that build Him up and don't tear anything down. ANd it's been good, real good.
Again I'm not judging, I'm not condemning, I'm merely asking my brothers and sisters to think and pray on these things. Bands- is your everyday life living up to the words you proclaim in your music? Yes, I get that people may be hearing the Gospel but Christ didn't tell us to merely share the Gospel. His COMMAND was to "Go and make disciples." Disciples of whom? Him, Christ. That means teaching what He taught, living what He lived, being imitators of Him so those you are discipling would see a clearer picture of Christ and may live like Him and further the discipling. How you do ministry matters! Even for Jesus it mattered.

Brant Hansen wrote an amazing blog about this (the first quote is someone arguing against his point that how you do ministry matters) : “Just look at the fruit, though! This ministry may have milked people for millions, but you can’t argue with the fruit!”
But the fruit of the Spirit is not mass-appeal, nor institutional footprint. It’s not multi-campuses. It’s not community awareness or revenue growth. If it is, Starbucks is a spiritual giant. The fruit of the Spirit is another list, entirely: Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, meekness, and self-control.

Bands- I get that your appeal is bringing in kids that may never go to church or other places that may present them with the Gospel, and I love that! But is your lack of integrity, diluting that Gospel? Are you portraying that in Christ we can truly be freed from the bonds of sin. Not just the consequence of sin, but the bonds of sin here, and now. That a new life, holy and pleasing the Christ CAN be lived here on earth through the power of the blood that rescued us ALSO from the condemnation of that sin? Or are you doing what Paul EXPLICITLY warns agains in Romans 6 when he said, "What should we say then? Should we continue in sin so that grace may multiply? Absolutely not! How can we who died to sin still live in it?" Do we talk foolishly and coarsely to make Christ appealing to those who don't yet know Him? Paul says no. What say you?

Whew! Don't be too harsh on me. Everything said here is out of love and concern.
Blessings,
~Jennanana

Living Broken...continued...

So I have been doing a lot of thinking about my last post and I realize that it may have come across as a bit accusatory. I seem to have left out a very important part to the whole post... We all fall. So cliche right? Maybe that's why I left it out, i mean we all know it happens. I do things that don't glorify God, and actually glorify the enemy, more than I care to admit but what I don't do (and what the last post was really about) is do something that is clearly wrong, clearly sinful (yes, I said the dirty word sin) and say "I know this is sin and I'm going to continuing in this sin because I don't want to do anything about it right now..." I'm soooooo not perfect. Anyone who knows me knows how hot tempered and self-absorbed I am. I am a sinner, just like you but I choose to spend my life abolishing sin from my life and living as Jesus instructed His children to live... Like HIM. When I sin I want to stop dead in my tracks and do what I must to remedy the situation and learn from it so I will not fall prey to that trap again. When I lose my temper at a friend I desire to reconcile the relationship, apologize, and learn from the experience how to have better self-control which is a... fruit of the spirit...

I'm struggling these days just to live. My heart feels so heavy for the life that seems lost right now and I wish there were a word or phrase I could find to put things back on the right path but I know it's not mine to fix.... Cody Bonnette said it very well in the song "Into the Sea" by As Cities Burn:

"And I tried to stop it when
I saw your posture start to bend
But honey it was not mine to mend"


I don't know why I feel so burdened by this. Maybe I think it's partly my fault... maybe it is. I know it's not something I can fix so I've left in in the ever so capable hands of my Father but I still feel so wrecked, so heavy. Like war has been raging, like it has.

Stayed tuned for some exciting posts to come... and comment on here if you want to! I like comments... especially if they are not not mean!!
In Christ,
~Jennanana

Still Learning, After All These Years....

I just finished a good conversation with my brother that really made me want to write again, but my brain isn't working because I haven't slept since Sunday (it’s Tuesday afternoon) so I'm going to come back to this refreshed in a few hours...(a day goes by...) Or a day...
So, I needed a lot of sleep to be able to think apparently... Anyway, back to what I was saying.
Scott (bro) and I were talking about life and how people in our life sometimes chose to go down paths they know, have known, have specifically spoken the words "I know this is wrong" but still make the decision to pursue said wrong path all the while proclaiming to be a Christian. (I am not questioning whether the person is in fact a Christian… In fact, I know for certain this person is a Christian, who loves God deeply) I was talking about how I am learning, rather RElearning, that sin is sin. I may not be out getting drunk or stealing from unsuspecting characters but I’m just as guilty as those who do these things when I lie or don’t put God first, or treat someone badly. My sin of idolatry is just as bad as another’s sin of violence, and boy, is God reminding me of this every day. I think it’s when you start thinking your getting the hang of things when God likes to throw a curveball to remind you where your eyes and heart should be. I’ve heard it said that He will use any means available to re-center a straying heart, and I can truly attest to that with what He has brought me through in the last 5 years of my life. Makes me start to wonder how pig headed I really, truly am.

On a lighter note, I’m in Chattanooga again. I flew down Tuesday morning so I could attend the concert of a lifetime that included Oh, Sleeper, Emery, and best of all Hawboy (formerly As Cities Burn… and still with Cody Bonnette on vox). I got into Chatt around 1030am and got to hang with Scott some before taking my nap that lasted a god few hours. Then shopped at McKay’s <3, had dinner with the Logan’s then Scott and I went to the show. I have been to many, many concerts in my life but I’m not sure I have ever been quite so excited as I was when Stillglow was exiting the stage and Hawkboy was setting up… Not that I didn’t like Stillglow, because I very, VERY much did like them, but it was Cody Bonnette people! He got up there with his awkward mustache and Aaron his drummer and started playing 2Bit… And I was like a giddy little school girl... I can’t even tell you how ECSTATIC I was when they played Errand Rum and Pirate Blues but what made their set the best of the entire night was the crowd knew the songs and was SO into it! I’m so used to being in Maine where good music is so very not known and I expected it to be the same there! It was EPIC (no, I’m not using that word)… Then Oh, Sleeper came on and all chaos ensued! The mosh pit kinda took over and the guys in the band started body surfing so Scott and I made a quick escape towards the back of the audience. I value my health too much to be too involved in the mosh pit, especially when surrounded by men who were a bit larger than myself… Emery came on and we made our way back to the front. There was a pit for Emery too but we were able to be basically out of it since we stayed close to the side wall. Emery put on an amazing set! They started out with… yes, you guessed it, So Cold I Can See My Breath and went right into the amazing Cheval Glass. I was SO into it I was screaming along and was told I “scream well for a girl”… I’m still not sure if that was a compliment. A couple songs later they slowed things down with a small acoustic set playing Fractions, and my theme song (one of) Ponytail Parades, and a semi acoustic Never Got To See the West Coast and kicked things back up again and ended with… yes, you are a good guesser… Walls. But we of course called for an encore and they played… mhmm… Studying Politics! It was a very good show, especially since I didn’t get pummeled in the pit! I will add the videos and pics once I can upload from my camera when I am home… Gooood stuff!!
Today was a lot of fun! Brent took me to go have lunch with Liz and him at the zoo, and Liz gave us the grand tour. Then Brent and I headed over to a park to hit some baseballs and hang and afterwards we went to see a $1 movie at the cheap seats cinema down here. It was over with just enough time for us to get back to their house to watch the Sox vs the Phillies… sadly, we lost 1-2 but it was a very tight game, obviously. Tomorrow I’m hanging out with Brent again, we may go back to the park to play ball again before it gets too hot, and then I’m shipping out with Scott and Shanon to go home, where you can breathe outside! Quite an eventful week I must say… I sure am grateful to have such amazing siblings and siblings-in-law!
God Bless,
~Jenna

What Does The Bible Actually Say???

I was watching the show "Bones" yesterday, yes I'm a sucker for anything with David Boreanez in it ;-), and I was deeply disturbed. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised at anything on tv these days, especially anything retaining to God or religion but as my husband, ahem, ex-husband would say, I am soooooo naive. Anyway, the episode touched on a very controversial issue that is not only plaguing the church but every aspect of Christianity. Yes, I'm talking about homosexuality...
Let me begin by saying I have a member of my family who is a lesbian, and I love her dearly. With that said the episode touched on homosexuals and the church. The church in the show was called "The Inclusion Church" and the pastor was a women who used to be a man (the name of the episode was The He Inside The She), they included all people, gay and lesbian, transgenders, and everyone else that wanted to be apart of their congregation. Where this whole thing starts to go wrong is when the word of God gets changed. Isn't the Bible the foundation of Christianity now? Since we don't have people who are still alive that saw Jesus, and the wonderful things he did while He walked this world we believe, by faith, that the Bible is the Word Of God. So we, to be Christians, or Christ-like, should follow the words of Christ, which, are in The Bible. I know for some people this may be hard to grasp so I'm going to focus on ONE Bible passage (THREE verses) to make my point.
1st Corinthians 6:9-10 states this:
Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.

Honestly, how can people say they don't understand the Bible? That it's not clear enough for them? THIS IS PRETTY CLEAR. The Kingdom of God is Heaven, just in case you didn't know.
The following verse is something amazing. Keeping in mind that Paul was addressing the group of believers in Corinth when he says this...
And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

If homosexuality isn't a sin why did Jesus need to wash these people Paul speaks about?

Here's what it comes down to. Sin is sin, we are to hate it but to love the sinner. That doesn't mean their sin is ok, because sin is STILL sin. We as a church... no forget the church, the church is too corrupt. We as CHRISTIANS should be striving to teach the WORD OF GOD, not passing out white-out pens to everyone with a Bible saying "oh, this is what God meant to say" or "hmm, well, God didn't mean for this to be in here" or even better "let's just skip over these next verses, they don't mean anything anyway"

Most of the people who would disagree with me on this whole thing, but call themselves Christians would say adultery is wrong, cheating on each other is wrong. You could ask them why, and they would probably say something like "Jesus said it's wrong, and it's in the 10 Commandments" WELL HELLO! Jesus says homosexuality will keep you from inheriting the Kingdom of God. HEAVEN! Jesus says homosexuality will keep you out of heaven. This is sad.
It makes me so sad that people who are supposed to be leading people into Jesus' loving arms are telling them it's ok to give into the desires of their body and for what? To be popular amongst a growing demographic? To be different? These people should be checked. Everyone should be looking at their Bible to see what it actually says. You might be amazed.

Love Is a Sweet Sweet Thing...

Well, I have done a lot of thinking and “soul searching”, as some would say, during the time from the last installment of my writings (hah). I’m finding everyday that God is opening my eyes to so many things I didn’t know I wasn’t even seeing…following me? I wish I could say these new revelations have made me happier, or smiley, or something like that but I’m afraid I’ve developed a bit of a bitter and almost recluse attitude towards my daily duties such as work and well, mostly work. I can say these revelations have given me a better understanding of love, mostly God’s love for me, because I certainly don’t understand the love of man. So diving right in…

The “We Need Each Other Tour”… Let me start with the end. The day after the show Scott said something that he meant as a joke in response to the question “What’d you think of Tenth Avenue North?” He, in his Pentecostal high pitched voiced, said “Oh they were a blessing, that’s what us Christian call them, a blessing”. After basically peeing my pants laughing at the entire scene I just pushed the whole thing aside… but it's exactly what it was. Back to the beginning... Well, not the beginning because it’s kinda boring so, really the middle. A band called Vota opened for the whole thing. The guy walks on stage and I thought we had accidentally went to a Ricky Martin concert, SERIOUSLY this guys looked just like him, at least from where we sat. Once that band started it became clear very quickly his looks weren’t going to matter one bit. He had an AMAZING voice. It was flexible like Kevin Max, but absolutely crystal clear. So then… Tenth Avenue North came on. I, of course, was super excited to see them play again. They blew my mind at Soul Fest with both of their performances and I was looking forward to having that happen again. And it did. Mike (lead singer of TAN) was up there talking about something we just started a new Bible study about. Love. I know I know, who doesn’t talk about love? Especially when you have the chance to do so in front of lots of people. I was expecting something along the lines of “Love your God above all and keep Him king of your life”, you know, the typical (but good) message we hear a lot. But his message went more along the lines of “God loves YOU”. I have a terrible memory so I’m going to paraphrase to the best of my ability. “Think of how much we, as the body of Christ here on earth, could do when we all realize WE ARE LOVED”. So I’ve been meditating on this for a week or two now and here’s what I’m thinking… For those of you that have been in love you probably know that feeling of “I can conquer the world” when you realize that your significant other (spouse, fiancé, boyfriend/ girlfriend) actually LOVES YOU. I’m talking real love, not something you think you’ve shared with a bunch of people in the past year. I remember when I told Ryan about my past, my family, my screw-ups. I basically sat down with him one day, early in our courtship, and said “this is me, this is my family whom I love, I can’t come without this past, and I’m not coming without my family” And he said he loved me just the same, maybe even more. He held my hand while I cried these things to him and told me he loved me. I had this feeling, similar to the one I had when Jesus took me in. I felt like nothing could stop me. Here I am, sinful by nature and by choice, as unclean as any one person could be and Jesus took me into His arms and said “I forgive you”. But people, He didn’t stop there, I mean if He did it would be amazing enough but He continued. He said “I forgive you, and… I LOVE YOU. I love you more than anything; I love you more than my own life. I love you more then the angels who sing my praises every moment of every day.” THIS IS AMAZING! Doesn’t it make you want to do back flips or something outrageously wonderful like that? It does me. Can you imagine if the population of Christians in the WORLD took this to heart and felt the absolute power and joy it brings? I think we’d be seeing people literally dancing in the streets. It would be like the colored forest in Ted Dekker’s novel White (which I highly recommend if anyone is looking for a great read). If we realized and took in this Love with the gratefulness it deserves I don’t think any of us would be ashamed to spread it. Who wouldn’t want others to feel this love? This completely life melting, mind blowing and stark raving mad (as Mike put it in his journal) Love.

WOW!

We need Jesus, and He longs for us. It's amazing.

We had a memory verse in Bible study that goes right along with this. “As a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will YOUR GOD REJOICE OVER YOU” Isaiah 62:5

I was going to write about other things, but they don’t seem important now.

Blessings,

~Jennanana

God and Root Canals...

I suppose like most people I spend a lot of my time thinking about money and finances and such. It dawned on me today (ok, well not today, but at some point in my life) that I, even as a Christian, focus WAY to much on this. Last week in church the verse in Matthew about worrying, was brought up and today as I was sitting in the dentists chair waiting for the lovely Novocaine to start working it again came to mind. I was warned by Dentist McDreamy (LOL) that the cavities he was drilling today were very large and he would do what he could to fill them. So I'm sitting there thinking of what the crap I'm going to do if I need ANOTHER root canal, then I realized God was with me and I started praying. I think I fell asleep for like a minute, due to this huge wave of peace which washed over my fear of finances. I prayed for the strength and wisdom to deal with the prognosis of this trip to the dentist and I asked God to provide for me to be able to fix what I needed to. I was feeling fairly confident things were going to be fine by the time the dentist stopped drilling, which I think made the outcome even worse haha. Yes, I need another root canal. When he told me I instantly began to crumble, shaky hands and a lump in my throat from trying not to cry. Which leads me to what I wanted to write about, how quickly did I began to forget that God would provide, and began worrying about money? (For those of you who don't know a root canal, with all the work it needs after the actual canal costs around $2500)
It's a strange thing to go from a complete peace to a total state of panic and "what am I going to do". At least it is for me. It makes me feel very umm, not grounded, like I thought I was. I know that everyone can always learn more and as a Christian I know God will always teach me how to trust him more and more, but I thought I was past all this. Does anyone feel me on this?
Anyway another Bible verse, very similar to the one mentioned earlier was thrust upon my brain... Luke 12:22 "Then Jesus said to his disciples: 'Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear."
Here is JESUS, yes people, JESUS HIMSELF telling us not to worry about our bodies. I'd love to lie here and say this made it all better and I'm not worrying about it, but I can't say this. I will say I did feel A LOT better and was able to trust more in my Heavenly Father with this whole thing which I think was the point of this Bible verse.
Well It's late, and I'm tired and have to get up early to run (YUCK!) before church. So good night.
Blessings,
~Jennanana

...Another Day

So this is my first official blog here on "blogspot". I'm still not sure why i'm going to blog, i guess it just sounds like fun. Anyhow...
I picked up my bass guitar today for the first time in a while. I was wicked jazzed to start playing again. So I plugged in my amp, plugged in my bass and turned the amp on. I was saddened when no noise came forth. So I fiddled with it for a few moments and decided I need a new amp. You know those times in your life when it seems EVERYTHING is going wrong and EVERYTHING is breaking and EVERYTHING is costing you a fortune? Well that's my life right now. I'm not saying this to through myself a pity party, it's just the simple truth. I just found out I need a root canal, which is a fortune in itself. The tranny in my car is surely dying a sad death, even more sad is that a new tranny will cost just as much as my freekin root canal. My sister just left to go back to school, and it's going to be a long while before I get to see her. And now my silly amp. I usually crumble when this sort of thing happens to me but I'm holding myself together surprisingly well. It's in these time when I pull myself closer to God and His word.
Speaking of God's word I have been reading the book pf Psalms every night. You know how everyone always speaks with such valor and greatness of King David (author of Psalms)? Well I've always kind of thought of him as almost a magical being. I mean God even said David was "a man after my own heart". When talked about in the churches I have been in he was portrayed as one of the most holy people that have walked this earth. But reading Psalms I find him and I very similar in many ways. I mean, he's praising God with all he has in one Psalm and in the next he is crying out "Why, why have you forsaken me?" Isn't this just like me? I have these moments in my life where I am at perfect peace in God, where everything could be going wrong but I can't help but smile and praise God with my hands lifted and my eyes watering, and thats ALL I can think of. But then I have these days where I cry myself to sleep thinking of all I have lost over the past 2 years, and asking God "where were you when I needed you to intercede for my well being". I know this is a foolish question to ask someone who died for me to have an abundant and eternal life, but sometimes it's easy to get tripped up in all the sadness of this world. I just read Psalm 23 last night, and it feels like something that would have been written after a turbulent and trying time. It's used so often everywere, that I think people take it's beauty and truth for granted. I don't know who will be reading this but whoever you are I urge you to go open a Bible and read Psalm 23, I mean really read it. Imagine you are David and your soul is being restored, as God's staff protects you as He makes your enemies a foot stool. It's amazing.
Well, I think thats all I have to say today.
Blessings,
~Jennanana